I've been picking up a lot of bad habits this month...

Thank God I don't live on Mission Hill right now. When I was in college and living in Jamaica Plain, I used to walk to MassArt along Huntington Avenue and it never ceased to amaze/disgust me how much litter covered the street in that area. Really? I mean, people really think that it's ok to just throw their trash on the ground? I can't even imagine eating fast food and then throwing my trash out the window, but people do it all the time! Why! Apparently, they've never heard of the trash vortex in the Pacific Ocean, or even worse, they have and they just don't care. Why don't people care? It's beyond me...

My ranting aside, I've actually been enjoying April's challenge much more than I thought I would. At first I felt kind of uncomfortable being seen walking around with a bunch of garbage in my hands, but pretty quickly I stopped caring. I haven't experienced any negative comments or stares, and it seems like people are more curious than anything else (although no one has stopped me to ask what I'm doing yet).

What's been really interesting is finding patterns in the litter that I pick up. The biggest conclusion I've drawn is that people with a bad habit, i.e. littering, usually have a bunch of other bad habits to go along with it. Honestly, 90% of that trash that I've found falls into the category of "Addictive Trash": empty cigarette cartons, vodka bottles, scratch tickets, and Dunkin Donuts cups. What's I've seen the most of though is cigarette butts. Somehow, there's a common misconception that tossing your cigarette butt on the ground isn't littering, but in reality, they aren't biodegradable, and even worse, two billion are thrown on the ground every day. I've already established that I'm not picking them up this month. I'd never make it anywhere on time if I stopped along the way for every one I found.

Soon I'm going to post about DeLitter Bugs, a project that Amanda and I came up with a few months ago. We're still hammering out the details so I want to wait to post until we've really figure it out. Stay tuned!

My March

As most of you probably know, I had to abandon my goal of rock climbing this month. I managed to injure myself in the most embarrassingly stupid way and my dreams of becoming a cute rock climber girl were crushed (only for the time being though). It's a bummer but it's definitely something that I still want to get into, so to all of you that I had climbing dates with, stay patient! I still want to climb with you! But moving on...

So, what have I been doing all month instead? March turned into a "do all those little things you've been meaning to do" month. I've been working on my logo, spending time in my studio, getting in touch with old friends, finally using the yoga gift certificate Tim got me for my birthday in 2007...just stuff like that. Although it's not as structured as the other months have been, it feels really great to finally be crossing some things off my gigantic to-do list. Whether you notice it or not, all those little things take up space in your mind and it feels pretty freeing when you can release them. It's been a sort of mental detox which is the perfect follow-up to February's physical detox and a nice compliment to January's journal writing. They're all connecting!

So, all in all a really positive month so far. I will say that I'm a little nervous for April and being the weird girl carrying around a trash bag everywhere I go. I'm going to have to come up with some parameters so it can be feasible. Any suggestions?

I apologize to our eager fans for not writing sooner.

I have so much to say that it's all getting jumbled in my brain, but here goes...

February was a very positive month for me. Since I'm unemployed, it was much easier for me to cook all of my meals than it was for Danne and Tim. I also didn't have as many temptations since I don't leave the house as much, ha.

Some February events that stick out in my mind:

Vinny visited from NYC for the Shepard Fairey exhibit at the ICA. That actual event was, honestly, a little bit awkward without alcohol as a catalyst. I needed some damn soda water but even that cost $3 or something silly. BUT Saturday night, Tim/Danne/Jenny/Vinny and I ate vegan Korean food, played the $5 surprise present game, enjoyed delectible Newman-O's with soy milk, and took turns telling stories about our lives before knowing each other. What fun! And Sunday, wow, Jenny made a vegan brunch that blew my face off.

Rick's "going away" party at Noir was way fun, even without alcohol. Tim and I went, drank soda water all night, and made wonderful new friends (Hi Lisa!). We ate late-night falafel, talked about swans, and slept over at our new friend Doug's house. By the way, weird sleeping arrangements always happen when I hang out with Tim or Danne. Not the two together, but when I'm just with one or the other of them.

My friend Jen was my valentine and she wanted to bring take-out to my house for dinner. The poor girl had no idea what to get for me since my diet was so limiting. She had to have a custom salad made with ingredients from a "safe" list I told her.

One day I was getting pretty stir-crazy, had been in my house for too long, and I asked Tim if he wanted to hang out since Danne was going to dinner at Grasshopper with an old friend. Long story short, we decided to dress in disguises and go to the restaurant to see if Danne would notice us. So, Tim went to iParty and bought disguises (check Facebook for photos and a video) and we actually ate at Grasshopper without poor Danne even knowing we were there the whole time. It was a ridiculous prank and I really think disguises and costumes should be used on a more regular basis. Sorry for utterly creeping you out, Danne. Would we have done this any other month? Probably. But it happened in detox February.

Some observations:

Sparkling water is a great placebo. I guzzled it at the bars when I went out and ended up getting really talkative, red-faced, and goofy anyway.

Homemade honey mustard salad dressing is quite yummy.

Vegan baked goods are just as good as ones with milk and eggs. Go ahead, someone try to fight me on this. I'll make you the fluffiest, tastiest little vegan cupcakes you'll ever eat.

Sober time with friends is incredibly rewarding. Drinking time is always fun, but let us not forget how great it is to enjoy each other's company without the addition of alcohol.

What I missed the most was seafood, which is odd, because I don't eat very much seafood in my every day life. Maybe my body was just saying I needed more protein? Not sure.

It's a really good thing I didn't go to Puerto Rico in February because I wouldn't have been able to eat anything at all. It is also a good thing I didn't go in April because there is so much trash there, I never would have been able to make a dent in it.

This brings me to the month of March...

I'm disappointed in myself for immediately eating/drinking worse/more than I did before February. I was in Puerto Rico from the 6th to the 14th. I ate crap, drank a fair amount, and now I feel like shit. I lost a couple pounds in February but I gained them back, and more, in PR even though we were fairly active during our stay. At the end of February, I was really thinking I never wanted to touch high fructose corn syrup ever again, I only wanted to drink occasionally, and I would still eat vegan when I had the choice. Going to Puerto Rico stomped on those plans so hard. Did I really just eat a fried empanada filled with yellow cheese? Yup. Did I really just drink four rum and cokes? Why yes, I did. So much fried food, rum, and soda. I don't even like those things much at all. But ya know, when in Rome... Don't get me wrong, I had a really great time. My body just hates me now.

In response to Drew and Tim's conversation about the satisfaction of eating meat versus tofu, I would like to say I decided to be a vegetarian (pescetarian, really) six years ago because of the toll industrial farming takes on the environment. I don't think it's wrong to eat meat and I don't have a problem with people eating meat around me; vegetarians who lecture meat-eaters give us a bad name. I believe everyone should eat as balanced of a diet as possible -- we are omnivores, after all. But everyone is different. For me, a vegetarian diet (with occasional seafood) feels right and leaves me feeling incredibly satisfied. I grew up in a household where we rarely ate red meat or pork, and only had chicken a couple of times a week. I never cared much about meat or craved it. It's funny because I'm one of the least picky eaters you'll ever meet, I love food so much and will try anything, but I choose not to eat meat. I think it's odd and unhealthy when people subsist primarily on meat, but who am I to judge really? There have been plenty of cultures that eat mostly meat and they were/are perfectly healthy, much healthier than most Americans. The problem is eating processed food (which I blogged about a while back), so yes, it would most likely be healthier for me to eat a grass-fed chicken than to eat a fake chicken patty made of soy. Have you read the ingredients on things like that? Oy.

With that said: Tim - I am really impressed by you. You had the most to give up in February and you did so well! I really respect that you are only giving yourself a few days this month to eat and drink whatever you want. I need to put some rules in place for myself again. I enjoyed the personal challenges in February and would like to make them habits. I haven't figured out a plan, but I'll let you all know what I decide to do.

My March challenge is to "learn Spanish" and it's not really going so well. I brushed up on what I already knew on my vacation, but honestly almost everyone there speaks English. Even when you try to speak Spanish, they respond in English. I had to tell a woman to speak Spanish to me! Learning the language will be an on-going process because obviously learning a language in one month is a lofty ambition anyway. I really need to buy Rosetta Stone or take a class, but both of these things cost money that I don't have.

March has transformed a bit into a sort of "say what you need to say and do what you need to do for peace of mind" month, if that makes any sense. Get things off of your chest. Bury the hatchet. Does this resonate with anyone else? I had a little epiphany at the beginning of the month. I'm a very forgiving person, but there have been a few grudges I've held onto. And I had this thought of, why bother? I always say, it's so much easier to be happy and accepting than it is to be negative and hateful. So it's time to practice what I preach, to the max! Grudges eat away at people. I don't want to be 50 years old and still complaining about something that happened to me in my 20s. I don't want to still be mad at someone who has "wronged" me. I don't want to be mad about anything. Love and be loved, right? March has been good for that so far. Clearing the air.

Okay, well I think that's everything I had to say. I'll try to post more often so I don't write a book every time I do post. Goals for the rest of March: get back on the healthy eating wagon, spend 6 out of 7 nights alcohol-free, and don't give up on Spanish. And read some damn books. Geez. And sew.

I'll have an O'Doul's please - 13 things I learned while vegan and sober:

For the entire month of February, I was completely sober and didn't eat a single animal product. Here are some of the things I learned from my experience:

1. I like meat. A lot.

If there's one certainty in life, it's that eating meat is really awesome. At no point in my 25 years on this planet was this made clearer than the month of February in the year 2009.

2. Enjoying food is all relative.

Here's a thought experiment: think of your own personal food satisfaction scale, with your favorite thing to eat as being at the top, and your least favorite thing to eat as being at the bottom. Now think about how psyched you would get if your favorite thing to eat was put in front of your face... and lets also say you happen to be really hungry from being locked in some dudes basement for 3 days with no food.

You'd be pretty psyched right?

That's how psyched I was for things like beans and tofu. Satisfaction was all relative; my scale had just shifted.

When some of the only protein dense, healthy, and satisfying substances you can eat are legumes and a block of coagulated soy milk, you will still get really psyched for them, mainly because tastier things like meat and cheese aren't even an option. You train yourself to stop getting psyched for them to avoid the feelings of despair.

So, after the neurosis I had developed (from constantly turning down tasty things) wore off, I finally began to enjoy really good vegan food just as much as I used to enjoy really good non-vegan food.

3. Alcohol does ridiculously bad things to your body and mind.

I had more physical and mental energy than I've had in a long time. Not drinking rules.

4. Alcohol does ridiculously fun things to your mind.

Booze is fun, but not necessary. Sober times with friends are really rewarding.

5. Spending a whole night in a bar sober is actually a lot of fun.

While sober at certain bars, you'll end up mentally lapping people very quickly. It also immediately becomes apparent just how desperately people need to drink so that they can feel comfortable engaging in shallow small talk at the top of their lungs with their "friends" who are standing, often akwardly, right next to them.

6. Spending a whole night in a bar drunk is still a lot of fun.

I did this on March 1st... for 6 hours. It ruled. Go to the bar named "Drink" in fort point and tip the bartender Sam, he rules.

7. Eggs are so awesome.

I'm generally against lame ass internet memes, but if Xzibit pimped my ride the first line of the show would be Yo Dawg, I heard you liked Eggs...



8. David Bowie is more amazing than I ever imagined (This just happened to occur this month, it had nothing to do with my diet)

Hunky Dory.


9. Working towards long term life goals is slow going when you drink a lot.

I realized that putting energy into non-drinking activities was a lot easier when you weren't engaging in the consumption of alcohol.


10. Not drinking has beneficial effects not apparent until at least 3 weeks of being sober.

This is a true statement.


11. I'll never be a vegan.

Now, if you read number 2 you may think I might be at least open to this. Well I'm not. Health and animal safety are important to me, just not that important. Besides, I can still choose pastured grass fed beef, limit my red meat intake overall, and not permamently deprive myself of different options, all while staying healthy and choosing to support more humane ways of razing animals for slaughter. I'll provide an analogy that I've given to many of my friends already... aside from the cruelty to animals part, I sum up being vegan as similar to having sex in only 1 position. Yes, it's still totally awesome (as is eating good vegan food), but why limit yourself of all the glory's of bedroom (or out of bedroom) adventure?

12. I'll never give up drinking.

Beer is awesome.

13. Going through with this leans me towards philosophical (not political) libertarianism.

I don't think I would have done this if Free Will didn't exist.


All in all I felt great, lost weight, and learned to cook some awesome stews. I'm proud of myself, because I love meat and beer, and I think I gained some valuable perspectives and insights into my way of life. Also, aside from the obvious physical benefits the main mental benefit was the true test of my wills. I realized truly testing your will power is good for you, it's a detox of the mind, like flushing antifreeze the opposite direction through the cooling system of life. It really gets the gunk out.

28 Days Later...

I meant to post last weekend but I got caught up in the end of February, "Welcome back to drinking and eating whatever you want" festivities. So, here is my long overdue reflection on February's detox:

The first two weeks were pretty amazing. Tim and I were really great about preparing food, I was productive with my time, and I just generally felt lighter, more energetic, and more clear minded. The last two weeks? I turned into an angry, bitter vegan who wanted to punch someone when Flour had the same vegan soup two days in a row, or worse, when the soup was only "vegetarian". The bitterness started when I didn't go grocery shopping and had to rely on eating out for most of my meals (I found this annoying and unsatisfying most of the time). Then we went to a few parties with delicious looking appetizers that I had to avoid, and the kicker was when I ate the most vile calzone from TJ Scallywaggles and was in bed for two days with food poisoning (ask me for the funny barf story if you haven't heard it already).

As much as I complain, I take the blame for my bitterness. If I had kept up with cooking my own meals and preparing my own food, I would have enjoyed the month thoroughly. I got lazy, and therefore, got pissy. A few times I found myself questioning why I was even doing this at all. What was the point of avoiding all these foods if I was crankier and not even eating any healthier? What was I gaining from this experience?

Well, a few things became apparent:

1.) Soy is not a substitute for fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.
2.) Drinking reduces your productivity, drastically...
3.) Vegan junk food is still junk food.
4.) Drinking shouldn't be treated as a given. Some of the most valuable times spent with friends are those spent sober.
5.) A delicious homemade, vegan meal can be just as satisfying as one with animal products.
6.) Drinking is so expensive and not worth the money a lot of the time.
7.) You are what you eat. Fresh, light, organic foods will make you feel better than over-processed, pre-packaged garbage.

So, all in all, a challenging and successful month. Now on to March, which I will post about in the next few days.

p.s. If we talk on a regular basis you hear me say this all the time, but seriously, why in a city of 6.4 million people, do we only have 4 vegetarian restaurants, 2 of which have practically the same menu? Can someone please start an organic, locally grown, vegetarian restaurant?

Just because a food is vegan doesn't mean that it's healthy

Case in point: Everything in the vegan snack section at Whole Foods. What a dream! Vegan blueberry donut holes! Vegan lemon vanilla cookie bites! Are you kidding me? It was my savior last week to satisfy my cravings (for whatever reason, last week I wanted to cheat really, really bad). Somehow I don't feel bad gorging on Soy Dream or a bagel with Tofutti, but honestly, is it really any healthier for me than the dairy version? I wonder how many chemicals and flavorings they need to add in to make it taste like the food that it's imitating? I wonder what the nutrient comparison is?

Moral of the story, reread Amanda's post about "In Defense of Food" and keep in mind that processed food, vegan or not, still packs in empty calories and a lot of chemicals and additives. I think next time I do a detox I'll focus more on "Not eating anything my Grandmother wouldn't recognize as food" rather than just replacing my normal diet with the soy version of it. Being a vegan doesn't mean that you're necessarily healthier. For years I was an unhealthy vegetarian and it's just as easy to be an unhealthy vegan. This week I think I need a vegan junk food detox...

But as my Dad would say, "Everything in moderation". A soy creamsicle every now and then won't undermine the healthy eating habits that I have in place 90% of the time.

missed opportunity? found perspective

i cant help but feel like ive missed out on a great opportunity this month. i would have loved to participate in february's "no substances" theme. i would have enjoyed doing this alongside people i have nothing but love for. at times, i probably could have used your support. i think simply knowing that other people are going through the same sacrifice, or situation, is an incredible feeling in itself. strength in numbers - a great byproduct of this site and a characteristic that i hope will attract other users.

the problem i had with this months task was that i really needed to take a step back and dedicate some time to committing myself to doing this. and there's a lot going on now!, much to keep track of!, and holy yikes!, like many, i have a few different buckets of what i consider substances (coffee and cigarettes in their own respective bucket, for example)...and it's a bit 'bump-in-the-rug-esque,' no? what i mean is that should you quit the smokes, you turn to another vice, and say, drink more coffee...that kind of a thing. and let's be honest, something like quitting smoking is it's own freakin feat...it aint easy.

[congratulations to me for having so many vices...yay! but identifying that alone is a positive in itself, i suppose.]

to some extent, my experience with this month's task was lackluster at best. and that's unfortunate. but that comes from a perspective of completely 'straight-edgin' out. im not sure that goal is attainable at this juncture. and while that is a shame, because a year or two ago, these dependencies were not even in existence, it's where i am, and in a way, those vices have helped define who i am. timeline-wise? i feel i have a little way to go before i can go through the exercise of de-vicing 100%.

for the month of january, i tried going the 'pescetarian' route, and it worked well...i did it. i missed bacon and pepperoni pizza. what?! i like bacon! so in feb, ate bacon. this month, in efforts to keep many projects on track, and keep focus, i cut back on some vices, while rewarding myself occasionally with other vices (what little chemists we've all become-ill speak more to that in another post). so, did make a conscious effort to cut back on a lot, and i did. so all was not lost.

i think the idea of eliminating everything was a bit much for my brain to handle. on various occasions, after thinking about it for some time, i would think myself into a box each time...my mind would enter into some sort of circular logic, and then short itself out.

lastly, it's necessary to give you guys a lot of credit. we all have incredibly busy schedules and lifestyles. to keep jugglin all your balls and not drop one is tough enough. but when you throw something like this in the mix, it's quite a challenge...and a worthwhile one, at that. way to be determined. props.

i edited some of the content out of this post about my opinions of eating animals and on substances in general. perhaps ill save that for another post later this month. thanks for giving me the opportunity to post to this blog. v

Long Story Short

I feel like I have some catching up to do as the technologically-challenged late comer to the 12 months of lent, so, in a nutshell...

I've come to think of 2008 as the year things fell apart.  It started off slowly, in manageable chunks at first, but as the year went on it seemed to build inertia, delivering an onslaught of shitty situations.  By October I was beginning to think I was making it all up in some sort of delusional personality disorder, fearing my job would think I was lying that I needed yet another day off to attend a wake or funeral.  By the holidays it had finally caught up with me, and I was slightly unraveled, ten pounds thinner and lacking the inspiration to get out of bed most days.  And I wasn't the only one, it seemed that almost everyone I knew could agree that 2008 had been an extraordinarily bad year.  Maybe it was a bad alignment of the stars, or maybe the universe was trying to do us a favor and compile all the bad events of the next few years into one year...I don't know, and I don't care.

When New Year's rolled around, I was shocked when I felt a strange sense of hope emerging.  I realized I had to put my foot down.  The way I saw it, 2009 had nowhere to go but up, even if it continued to throw misfortune my way, I was going to control what I could control, and make the most of that.  So I decided to make a few necessary life changes, like to stop letting selfish boys into my life (my new year's resolution was to kick my douche-bag habit), stop having certain expectations that only lead to disappointment, stop letting myself get overwhelmed and dig myself out of the hole I had fallen into, and finally, to stop talking about going back to school and actually do it.

   

Back in November when Danne brought up the idea of doing something different every month, I thought it sounded like a great idea, but at the start of 2009, it seemed like a necessity.  Writing everyday in January was probably the best thing I could have done to start off the year.  Did i actually write everyday?  Well, no, but even on the days I didn't write, I found myself reflecting on what I would have written about, and it turned out to be a very reflective month for me, and set a good tone for the year.  Detox February has been a dream so far.  A challenge, but something I'm glad to have done.  Since I'm already vegan i decided to nix caffeine as well, since the first thing I do every morning is turn my kettle on for a cup of tea.  I've never thought I was addicted to caffeine because I've never turned to it to wake myself up, or cure the jitters, I thought I just drank it because I liked it, and yet, I've been suffering mild headaches almost every afternoon, and craving cups of black tea.  Two affects I had not anticipated at all.  Cutting the booze has also been a great experience for me, because it's something I've never done since I started drinking a few years ago.  Like some kind of sign from the universe, at  the end of January a friend from school ended up in a bad situation that made him think about getting help for his drinking problem, and if that wasn't an inspiration to abstain from alcohol for a month, I don't know what else could be.  Like Danne and Amanda have said, when did I start drinking out of habit?  In high school and even my first year of college I was terrified to drink or experiment with any drugs due to my own family's history of substance abuse on both sides.  I started drinking cautiously when I was in college, and am relieved to discover that I have been blessed to have not inherited that tendency, but it is something I keep at the back of my mind always, and this detox has been a good practice for self reflection around this issue.  This month has been a challenge worth taking for sure!

So- January and February have been a huge hit so far...and now I'm looking forward to learning how to crotchet in March!! 

Yesterday I had to cheat...

Tim and I hadn't gone grocery shopping so I had to find vegan breakfast in Fort Point before work. Usually Flour (my favourite place to eat, ever) has vegan muffins but yesterday I was out of luck. I had to resort to eating at the Metro (for those of you who haven't eaten there, it's basically a glorified convenience store with less than mediocre food). I searched around for anything that didn't contain high fructose corn syrup or dairy and came up empty handed. I had to give in and eat an english muffin with jam, both of which contained high fructose corn syrup and tasted unusually sweet. F.

Other than that though, everything has been going well, really awesome actually. I love being a vegan. I'm losing weight (3lbs so far! haha), eating so healthy, cooking more, and not impulse eating. Not drinking is amazing too. I'm being productive, creative, saving money, and having solid times with friends that I remember the next day. A+.

I'm also beginning my preparations for next month which I'm really pumped about. I've enlisted my friend Cristiam as my rock climbing mentor and I'm doing push ups and hanging from anything I can find.

How's everyone else doing? Any new participants?

This is a doozy

February is great so far. I'm not totally in the mood to reflect on it yet, but I will say that I truly love vegan baking and sober, meaningful, intellectual conversations with friends. And disguises.

I finally finished In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan. It's rather fitting that I finished it during February. I have healthier eating habits than many Americans (especially this month), but this book makes me want to improve my diet further. This is what I've learned:

"A food is more than the sum of its nutrients, a diet is more than the sum of its foods, and a food culture is more than the sum of its menus."

Eat local, organic produce. Industrial fertilizers grossly simplify the biochemistry of soil. Chemically simplified soil produces chemically simplified plants. Crops grow faster, absorbing fewer nutrients. Deficiencies in micronutrients can cause damage to DNA which may lead to cancer.

Regarding diabetes: "Apparently it is easier, or at least a lot more profitable, to change a disease of civilization into a lifestyle than it is to change the way that civilization eats."

More leaves, fewer seeds. There is no diversity in our diet. We eat corn, wheat, and soy--seeds high in omega-6's which need to be balanced by leafy vegetables’ omega-3's. Livestock are cheaply fed seeds instead of grass, so industrial meat, eggs, and dairy are high in omega-6's. We consume 1/3 the omega-3's the Japanese do and have 4x the deaths from heart disease. Strong correlations were found between low levels of omega-3's and high rates of depression, suicide, and homicide. Some research implicates omega-3 deficiency in learning disabilities such as ADD. [When buying dairy/eggs, look for the word "pastured." When buying meat, look for "grass finished" or "100% grass fed."]

Rules to follow:
Don't eat anything your great great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food.
Don't eat anything incapable of rotting.
Avoid food products with ingredients that are unfamiliar, unpronounceable, more than 5 in number, or that include high-fructose corn syrup.
Avoid food products that make any sort of health claim.
Eat mostly plants, especially leaves.
Eat like an omnivore. [The more diversity in your diet, the more nutritional bases you cover.]
Eat wild foods when you can. [2 of the most nutritious plants are weeds; wild game has less saturated fat and more omega-3's.]
Have a glass of wine with dinner.
Pay more, eat less.
Eat meals (not snacks), eat at a table, and try not to eat alone.
Consult your gut. [Pay attention to your body so you know when you're full.]
Eat slowly. [Eat less and take longer doing it; savor your food.]
Cook, and if possible plant a garden.

"As the scale increases, diversity declines; and as diversity declines, so does health; as health declines, the dependence on drugs and chemicals necessarily increases." Wendell Berry

***

There you have it, a condensed version of [the second half of] In Defense of Food. If any of these rules need clarification, or if you have questions, I’m pretty much an expert now, so go ahead and ask. I am devoting the remainder of February, and basically the rest of my life, to these guidelines. I can't wait to start hunting wild game.